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Thursday 27 October 2016

Dearly Beloved,

l'm sorry l haven 't talked to you in so long. l feel l've been lost... ...no bearings, no compass. l kept crashing into things, a little crazy, l guess. l've never been lost before. You were my true north. l could always steer for home when you were my home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left. l still think some mistake's been made... ...and l'm waiting for God to take it back. But l'm doing better now. The work helps me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile... ... that always held me like a lover... ...rocked me like a child. All l remember from the dream... ...is a feeling of peace. l woke up with that feeling... ...and tried to keep it alive as long as l could. l'm writing to tell you that l'm on a journey toward that peace. And to tell you l'm sorry about so many things. l'm sorry l didn 't take better care of you... ...so you never spent a minute being cold or scared or sick. '' ''I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words. . . . . .to teII you what I was feeIing. I'm sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you. I'm sorry I didn't apoIogize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compIiments. . . . . .on everything you wore and every way you fixed your hair I'm sorry I didn't hoId on to you with so much strength. . . . . .that even God couIdn't puII you away. ''

Nicholas Sparks
Message in a bottle.

Friday 21 October 2016

Confession.

I always remember the time when we used to look at each other and our shyness kissed. The time when he secretly admired me and I knew he was doing so but always be silent. The precious feeling of Nostalgia strongly hit me up everytime I stared at Our pictures for hours without even blinking the eyelids because that would form darkness and I didn't want to miss a single thought picturized. Together the times spent and the moments felt, oh god how can them be so special and speechless, so worthy and lunatic. I cannot confess this to him, things are not same anymore but they are in our hearts obviously. The hurt hits and love cracks but never fades. He gave the most sensitive gesture and I never replied, maybe shyness was surrounding me too much but I wanted to. I even want it right now but things, they aren't any same anymore. The much he wanted to love me the more I wanted to love him. The less he wanted to leave the lesser I wanted to separate. Together by heart and by actions still but hurt separated us. Pictures flashes back, memories flashes back, so do my mistakes, so do my Lies, and his broken face. Fear of losing and hope to see him soon will always be honey to me. Time flies and hardships too.
PS I Love You.